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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29782533">but when it heals, it beats for you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiefuckinkaspbrak/pseuds/eddiefuckinkaspbrak'>eddiefuckinkaspbrak</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sugar Daddy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:28:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,314</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29782533</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiefuckinkaspbrak/pseuds/eddiefuckinkaspbrak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie drowned out his voice, even though it was rather difficult given how loud he was, but it suddenly became a whole lot easier when another voice drowned out Josh’s annoying tone. A voice that Eddie would recognise anywhere. He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes locking onto the back of someone he thought he’d never see again. </p><p>He was engaged in a conversation with Eddie’s boss and another co-worker, Janet, who was fake smiling and making ridiculous attempts at flirting. Even though Eddie had no right to, a feeling of jealousy built up in his stomach. </p><p>Richie.</p><p>[My fic for the Writers Revolution Valentine's Day Exchange!]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Writers Revolution Be My Valentine 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>but when it heals, it beats for you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtfullyyoungduck/gifts">thoughtfullyyoungduck</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic is for thoughtfullyyoungduck! Apologies for it being so late I'm a terrible person!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Eddie hated parties, he always had. Even when he was younger and his friends would have birthday parties in their backyards, Eddie hated them. Maybe it was the loud screaming of the children, or the germs as they shoved their fingers into all the food that had been laid out in the open air, Eddie couldn’t tell, just knew that he didn’t like it. Even when he went to college, his hatred for parties never changed as soda was replaced with alcohol, and screaming children were replaced with screaming adolescents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those parties though were still a little bit more bearable than </span>
  <em>
    <span>these</span>
  </em>
  <span> parties. These parties being ‘work social gatherings’, a sorry excuse for all the boring office people he worked with to come together and gossip in a place with alcohol instead of at their desks. These gatherings were also a way for co-workers to cosy up to the Heads of Departments with the hopes of securing a promotion or even a pay rise. The whole thing made Eddie want to barf, and the worst thing about it was that he was obligated to be there as a new member of the staff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fresh out of college, Eddie had secured a job as an admin assistant at a lawyer’s firm in New York City. It wasn’t anywhere near his dream job, but when you were poor any job would suffice just to be able to pay the bills. Eddie didn’t have any other option, and he would just have to grin and bear it until a better opportunity came along. With that thought in mind, he stepped up to the bar and ordered a beer, taking full advantage of the free open bar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kaspbrak, I wasn’t expecting you to actually show up. You’ve surprised me!” A voice practically yelled from right next to Eddie. He winced and turned to greet his co-worker, Josh, with a forced smile. “You should come over here, meet some people. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Important</span>
  </em>
  <span> people, if you get what I mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meeting people was the last thing Eddie wanted to do, in fact he had hoped to get through the evening without speaking to anyone. However, the look on Josh’s face told him that he wasn’t getting out of this one, and with a sigh he nodded, gripping the neck of the beer bottle and slipping from the stool. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, lead the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Josh ran his mouth as they made their way through the crowds to whatever table they were heading to. Eddie drowned out his voice, even though it was rather difficult given how loud he was, but it suddenly became a whole lot easier when another voice drowned out Josh’s annoying tone. A voice that Eddie would recognise anywhere. He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes locking onto the back of someone he thought he’d never see again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was engaged in a conversation with Eddie’s boss and another co-worker, Janet, who was fake smiling and making ridiculous attempts at flirting. Even though Eddie had no right to, a feeling of jealousy built up in his stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Richie.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie stopped walking, freezing in the spot as his brain started providing him with escape routes. Out of all the people that had to be at the function that night, why did it have to be Richie? What did Eddie deserve to be faced with such bad luck?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sensing that Eddie had stopped following him, Josh turned around with a frown on his face, before grabbing Eddie by the wrist and tugging him forward into the group. The force of the jolt forward sent Eddie flying, knocking him into Richie himself, who also jolted forward, causing Janet’s drink to spill on her fancy blouse. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Serves you right, Janet. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, easy there-” Richie started at the same time Janet snapped in her high pitched voice, “Fuck sake, Eddie, watch where you’re going!” Which caused Richie to freeze and look down at who exactly had knocked him sideways. Their eyes locked, and just for a second, no-one else at the work gathering mattered but the two of them. Eddie had forgotten just how easy he could get lost in Richie’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moment didn’t last long, thanks to Janet, who pushed Eddie away just a little to fuss over Richie, making sure none of her drink spilled over his fancy three piece suit. “Eddie is new, please don’t let his clumsiness affect anything we were talking about,” she fussed, and Eddie had to roll his eyes at the dramatics of it all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Calm down Janet, it was just an accident,” Eddie muttered, taking a much needed step back from Richie, putting distance between them. No matter how far he moved though, the scent of his cologne was stuck in his nostrils. He swallowed, feeling Richie’s eyes on him and Eddie knew if he looked up, he’d see the same confusion and questioning in his eyes that was there the last time they saw one another. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie wasn’t ready to deal with </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> issue yet. Nope, no way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luck was never on his side though, as Josh took that moment to speak up, addressing why he brought Eddie over there in the first place. “Yes, Eddie is our new co-worker, but he should have an equal chance of meeting important people like the rest of us. Eddie, this is one of our companies interested investors, Richie Tozier.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a pregnant pause before Richie smiled and extended his hand for him to take, which Eddie did. A jolt of electricity shot up his arm and he almost pulled back before he remembered everyone watching them. According to all of Eddie’s coworkers, this was the first time he was meeting Richie Tozier, they had no idea just how well the two knew each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you,” Eddie offered, not sure if Richie </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> the group to know they had history. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just at that moment, the music changed from an upbeat tune to a much slower one and Janet lurched forward, breaking the trance the two of them were under. “Mr Tozier, I love this song. Would you dance with me?” Eddie had to hold back a scoff at how obvious she was being. The company, of course, had chosen her to charm Richie intp signing a contract with them and she was, no doubt, going all out with her given task. It was a little pathetic, really. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hoping to make a quick exit back to the bar for one last drink before slipping out the back door, Eddie stepped back, only for a hand to be wrapped around his wrist, tugging him back. It was Richie’s hand, of course it was, and there was a look in his eyes that Eddie couldn’t quite place. “Actually, I was hoping Eddie would dance with me, if that’s alright with you?” He asked, eyes never leaving Eddie’s shocked one’s for a second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie should say no, he should shake his head and tell Richie to dance with Janet, it was her role in all this after all. God, if he said yes Janet would shoot daggers into his back for the next month, at least. The thing was, Eddie didn’t want to say no. Call him selfish all you want, but Eddie wanted to be alone with Richie, even if it was just for a three minute dance. With his mind made up, Eddie nodded his head, allowing Richie to take his hand and lead him to the dance floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until Eddie felt Richie’s hand on the small of his back as he pulled him closer for the dance, that he realised his chest was all compressed in panic. The second that Richie’s hand touched him, all the panic faded and it was as though a bubble had formed around the two of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A lawyer’s firm, eh?” Richie broke the silence, his chin settling on top of Eddie’s head. They had only been in each other's presence for ten minutes and they were already falling into their old habits. “I swear, I didn’t know you worked here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That caught Eddie off guard and he pulled back to look up at Richie with a confused frown on his face. “What do you mean? I never- I didn’t think you knew I worked here. Why would I think that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richie shrugged a little, looking bashful as he glanced up at the ceiling for a brief moment, “I just wanted you to know that I didn’t...look you up or anything. I didn’t follow you or check up on what you were doing. Even if I wanted to.” He let out a breath. “You made your decision and I respected it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another lump formed in Eddie’s throat and Richie’s words only seemed to add to the confusion. Yes, he had made the decision to end their relationship, but only because Richie was going to end it first. “I don’t understand. Why would you want to check up on me? Or follow me or whatever? You- I did </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> a favour by ending things first. I knew you were struggling to find a way to do it, so I did it first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The look on Richie’s face was nothing less than pure pain as he registered Eddie’s words. He shook his head, “What are you talking about? I wasn’t- who told you I was going to break up with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie froze up a little and he forced himself to think back, way back to when he had overheard the conversation Richie was having with a friend of his. The words were still bitter to think about and his heart hurt. “No-one told me. I heard you. On the phone. You were talking to someone about finding it hard to change your relationship status, and that you had to be really careful. I don’t know about you, Richie, but that screamed of wanting to break up with me. I just- I don’t know why you didn’t just tell me when things stopped working for you. I’d have understood. We weren’t...it wasn’t like we were public or anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richie blinked a few times and Eddie could see the moment when it all clicked for him. The confused look turned to one of understanding, but instead of looking guilty, Richie looked...overwhelmed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eddie...holy shit...Eds, no. Fuck.” He stopped moving to the music and instead moved the hand that was on the small of Eddie’s back to his hand and took it in his own. “This is too public a place for this conversation. Five minutes, that’s all I need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if Eddie hadn’t wanted to follow Richie before then, the pleading look in his eyes was all it took for him to nod. He let Richie lead him off  the dancefloor, out a door and into a hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know where you’re going?” Eddie asked softly, letting Richie lead the way through the corridors of the hotel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had a function here myself a while back, got a bit overwhelming so I went to explore,” Richie replied almost immediately, turning one more corner and opening a door that led to a balcony overlooking the city. “Found this place.” He closed the doors behind them, allowing total privacy, and Richie ran a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t going to break up with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out of all the things Eddie thought Richie was going to say, that was not even in the top ten. He blinked in confusion, looking a RIchie a little skeptically. “Alright, say you weren’t going to break up with me then. What did that statement really mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richie moved a little closer to Eddie, but not too close that he’d feel trapped. He reached down to take Eddie’s hand in his once more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to ask you to go public with me, Eds.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie suddenly felt sick to his stomach, as the look in Richie’s eyes, the sincerity, meant that he was telling the truth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just nervous because we were, as you pointed out earlier, not exclusive. I was technically your sugar daddy and we had sort of made that unspoken agreement that what we had was just...well what we had.” He squeezed Eddie’s hand, just a little bit, a soothing gesture. “Maybe it was just that at first, but then we started hanging out without the sex, we had movie nights and you’d spend the night just...chilling. We’d laugh and tease each other like it was a real relationship and suddenly that was all I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be real, but I was scared that maybe you didn’t want that. Then you broke it off with me and that sort of just...sealed it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence let Eddie know Richie was done speaking, letting him know it was his turn. His cheeks were burning red with embarrassment and he let out a frustrated groan at his own stupidity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m such a fucking idiot.” Eddie tried to step back, but Richie still had hold of his hand, keeping him grounded. “I’m such a fucking idiot, I was so caught up in thinking that you didn’t want to be with me anymore that I didn’t see the signs that maybe it was the total opposite. I can’t believe that I was that much of an idiot that I ruined the best thing I had in my life.” He looked up at Richie then, his eyes filling with tears, “Because you were, you were the best thing I had in my life. Nothing ever compared to the way you made me feel- </span>
  <em>
    <span>make</span>
  </em>
  <span> me feel- because I’m still crazy in love with you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie didn’t get to finish his declaration of love as Richie swooped in fast, his arms securing themselves around Eddie’s waist as he hauled him forward, bringing their lips together in a long overdue kiss. A squeak of surprise left Eddie’s lips before it was replaced with a soft moan, his hands reaching up from where they were handing by his sides and weaving into Richie’s hair. It was just like the dreams Eddie had been having for months, except this time it wasn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pulled away after a few moments, the need to breathe too much to ignore and Eddie fell back onto his heels. Damn Richie and his height. Richie was grinning, tears clear in his eyes from behind his glasses. “I love you, too. I always have. You’re my perfect match and these six months without you? They’ve been torture.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Eddie breathed, his fingers clutching at the curls on the back of Richie’s neck. “I’m sorry for fucking up so badly and jumping to conclusions. I’m sorry for not just talking to you about it instead of...you know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richie just shook his head and leaned down to press another, more gentle, kiss to Eddie’s lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can talk about it, over dinner maybe?” Richie suggested, a hand moving to cup Eddie’s cheek, thumb running over the skin under his eye. “We can discuss everything, lay all our cards on the table. What do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a good idea for them to talk it out before jumping into something with one another again, yet Eddie didn’t want to wait until the next night after dinner for Richie to take him to bed. He’d been without him for six months and now he knew Richie </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to end their relationship and that he</span>
  <em>
    <span> loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, Eddie didn’t want to wait any longer. “I think it’s a great idea,” he breathed, moving his head up to Richie’s ear. “But...I also really want you to take me home,” he whispered and then added, just for clarification. “To your home.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richie’s apartment was just like Eddie remembered it, open space and filled with life. He hadn’t had the chance to properly look around the night before, his mind...and body both otherwise preoccupied. Now he was awake though, the bed next to him empty but still warm, which meant Richie hadn’t long since woke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie sat up, stretching and groaning as his bones cracked before he climbed out of bed. He grabbed his underwear from the bedroom floor before pulling out one of Richie’s shirts from his drawer. As Eddie stepped out of the room, he could hear Richie’s voice filtering in from the kitchen area, clearly speaking to someone on the phone. He edged closer, peeking his head around the corner, and right enough Richie was on his phone, pacing back and forth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something came up, but I’d be happy to meet with you on Monday morning, at the office,” Richie spoke. “We can talk business and sign contracts.” He looked up then, eyes meeting Eddie’s from across the room and he broke into a smile. “Mhm, yes that makes sense,” he spoke into his phone whilst beckoning Eddie closer with his finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With his own, equally large grin on his face, Eddie moved closer and stepped between Richie’s legs as he continued his call. The body heat was welcome and Eddie curled back into Richie’s embrace, taking a piece of toast from the plate in front of them and taking a bite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go, I have other business to attend to. I’ll be at the office on Monday morning, 9am sharp and we can talk.” Richie hummed and the voice on the other end, muffled back before the call ended and the phone was shoved into Richie’s pocket. “Stealing my breakfast?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re not fast, you’re last,” Eddie shrugged, dramatically taking another bite of the toast. “Was that my boss?” He asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richie nodded, running a hand through his curls, curls that Eddie had messed up the night before. He shuddered and the memory. “Your boss is quite...forward. He wasn’t happy I ditched the party last night.” Richie shoved more toast into the toaster and set the timer, turning back to Eddie. “Do you have somewhere to be today?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not unless you do,” Eddie hummed, wrapping his arms around Richie’s waist, seeking more of his body heat. “Anyway, aren’t we going out for dinner? To talk and stuff?” He looked up just as Richie looked down, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before Richie closed the distance with a soft kiss. “Mhm, morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning,” Richie breathed back, spinning Eddie around so he was pressed up against the counter. “Fuck I missed you, I missed you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie’s stomach clenched, his eyes softening almost immediately as he glanced towards the floor in embarrassment. It was his fault after all, his fault that Richie had to miss him in the first place. He felt Richie’s fingers under his chin, tilting his head up so their eyes locked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what you’re thinking,” Richie spoke softly. “Please stop?” His head tilted to the side, curls falling loose and into his face. Eddie thought he was the most handsome man he’d even laid his eyes on. “Come back to bed?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Richie stepped back and held out his hand, allowing Eddie to turn him down if he wanted to, always giving him that choice. Instead of Eddie’s stomach clenching in a bad way, this time it clenched in anticipation with what was to come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, they had to talk, sit down and have a conversation about their relationship and what they both wanted. Eddie was going to have to communicate with Richie, tell him everything about his past and why he had thought he was going to break up with him in the first place. The thought was terrifying, but Eddie wanted nothing more than to let Richie get to know him completely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All that could wait though, until later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eddie smiled, reaching his hand out to take Richie’s, letting him lead him back to the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him. </span>
</p>
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